Finding Joy in an African hair salon

Sometimes I unexpectedly find myself in the midst of joy, and sometimes I find it hard to feel, or experience joy. It’s a perfectly normal part of the human experience, we have ups and downs.

Joy

If you’d have seen me this morning, I was ugly crying with tears falling down my face, snot bubbles coming out of my nose, my head hanging down low, locs in my face, and on my knees praying to God to take away the pain in my body.

I was struggling with work, sleeping throughout the night and doing my day-to-day tasks, and I was fed up because this had been happening for 5 weeks. Granted some days were better than others, but constant pain and discomfort for 5 weeks is a lot. 

See, I’m a music teacher in a primary school, and anyone who’s ever worked in a primary school or preschool will tell you it’s a germ hub. Those little people are not afraid or concerned with germs, not like us; they’re just as young and free as they should be. 

I caught a cold at school as usual, but this time it wasn’t just a cold; it was a viral infection, and I had no idea. 

So for 5 weeks I’ve been going to school teaching, and going about my life feeling rough but trying to be positive and play it cool in the hopes that this sickness would go away soon. 

Today I finally decided it was time to call the GP because I was getting worse. I woke up in the morning to call the GP for an emergency appointment. I wanted those antibiotics asap. 

I waited 30 minutes to get through, and when I finally got through, the receptionist and I were struggling to converse effectively because of the delay on the phone, so she hung up after 48 seconds, and it absolutely crushed me. Cue the breakdown and crying to God to excuse me from this sickness. 

Gentle reminder: don’t hold all your emotions in, let them out.

If you miss that 8 a.m. slot, there’ll be no appointment for you at my GP because, by the time you call back, they’re all gone. So it’s safe to say that today didn’t start so joyfully. I asked God to save an appointment or heal me, as I was going to try to call again. This time I waited over 30 minutes, and by now the emergency appointment slots should have ended, but God is so good, that the receptionist gave me an appointment. I started to get ready for the day. My daughter woke up, and we had breakfast and got ready in our summer outfits. 

I got to the GP, was given a few prescriptions, and instantly started feeling relieved. As the sun shone and the day went on, I started feeling much better and allowed myself to dive deep into those positive feelings. 

Gentle reminder

At this moment, I’ve found myself smothered by this feeling of immense happiness, and I don’t want to come up for air. 

The kind of happiness that has me smiling—I mean, truly smiling. Imagine me right now sitting here smiling from ear to ear; yup, that’s me. Raven Baxter voice. 

For context, I am currently sitting in a black-owned beauty salon/barbershop watching my baby girl get her hair washed, conditioned, oiled, and then styled for the first time. We’ve been doing her hair at home until now.

This beauty salon has been in business for over 10 years and is deeply appreciated by the community.

Taking my daughter to the beauty salon reminds me of the days my mom and my Gogo (grandmother) would take me. I could never forget the priceless conversations and the sense of community I felt in those moments at the beauty salon, and now I’m here sharing and experiencing that with my daughter. God is good.

My mother, my Gogo and myself. The dynamic trio. September 2017

Upon entering the shop, we were greeted with big smiles and energetic greetings from the aunties. This is the moment I knew I was in the right place. In African culture, we address all our elders as auntie, uncle, ma, sir, or gogo; it’s a sign of respect and love. The ambience of the salon was oozing black culture, with Afro-beat music videos playing on the flat screen, black hair products for sale, and paintings/posters on the wall depicting blackness at its finest.

The essence of this environment alone brought me so much joy and peace. Sharing a part of black culture with my daughter through her hair—sorry, I mean her crown—has turned this thing I was thinking of as a chore into an enriching experience for the both of us. 

I must praise God for these moments and thank God for answering my prayers because, in this moment, I realise I have everything I need and then some. I always pray to God, and often I ask for joy, peace, and gratitude to loom over my heart and spirit and those around me. I pray for God to help me understand that life is not a race and for his joy to remain in my heart no matter the circumstances, and I pray that for you too. 

I’m so blessed to have had the pleasure of experiencing this 360 moment that my mother and grandmother shared with me. Now I’m sharing this with my kin, and in this moment, I refuse to let being sick take away my joy and peace. These trips to the hair salon are going to be a regular occurrence, not just to treat my daughter but to treat my spirit. 

Some hair salons often have fixed prices for their services, but when it comes to the aunties, there’s always wiggle room. I showed Auntie the style Ocèan said she wanted, and the business negotiations began. We agreed on a price that we were both happy with and went to the washroom for Ocèan to get her hair washed. 

The wash, conditioner, and blow drying are finished, and we’re at the styling stage. At this point, I’m sitting in a state of gratitude, and I’ve never been happier. I’m taking pictures and videos, which is when I hear the voice of God telling me to write, and I listen. 

The inspiration and words from this article came from God, and now I cannot stop writing. While in the salon, we talk and laugh, and Ocèan is asking Auntie about the hair products, and Auntie is educating her and me. Auntie compliments Ocèan on her patience and good behaviour during this process. The entire salon, including other customers, is in conversation, and the vibe is good. 

However, my daughter is newly turned 4, and those little people cannot sit for too long.

Auntie is getting close to finishing her hair, but she starts to get wary. 

Auntie tries to distract her and asks her what her favourite programme is so she can put it on her phone, and it works. At this moment, Ocèan is now watching her favourite programme and has forgotten all about her weariness and inconvenience. 

The moment Ocèan became fed up with sitting we had to distract her with cartoons and get extra hands to help.

Looking at how this moment has played out reminds me of my own situation this morning. 

I had enough of being sick and was still trying to stay positive and productive, so I did the only thing I knew to do, which was call on my father, God. It reminds me of the fact that I prayed for healing, an appointment, and comfort, and God gave me that. 

For the times when you are feeling as I was, remember to look at Matthew 11:28, which says, Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest. The yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light. 

Ocèan's hair is done and looking superb, auntie did a great job.

After Ocèan's hair was done, she loved it, and I ended up buying her a few new outfits. She picked out a beautiful lilac dress, and we went home, and she helped me make some homemade chicken strips. 

This day turned out to be a good day, and I give all credit to God and myself. I’m glad I allowed myself to go through those emotions of vulnerability because sometimes we really do need to distress, let it all out, and be honest with ourselves and God about how we’re feeling. Sometimes, putting on a brave face and soldiering on is not the solution. 

My last piece of advice for this reader is to cry if you need to allow yourself to feel all those feelings, but you don’t have to do it alone; do it with God.

Let us be bold, then, and say,

“The Lord is my helper,

I will not be afraid.

What can anyone do to me?” 

Hebrews 13:6 (GNTD)

God bless you. 

Love ❤️ 

Chidochashe